Love never fails

2011-05-08T01:28:00.003+08:00

this blog gt so much dust tt i doubt anyone visits it anymore. haha. but oh well.

felt Jesus pain when i was cleaning my wounds. my heart clenched everytime i think abt it.

im so tired. physically tired. but i dont wanna stop. cos this is wat God has given me. cried out to Him to sustain me. got a little taste of how serving in ministry will be like. the tiredness of it all. and this is just the tip only. and I was asked if i will still cont serving. yup, i will. this is what You have given me. how can I reject it? (yes Lord, even if the season comes and it's him i will accept and not reject) sustain me oh Lord, help me Lord. refresh and recharge me oh Lord. besides partaking in the resurrection power of Jesus Christ, i am also willing to partake with you fellowship of suffering.

Hallelujah. All the praise and glory goes to You. Father, glorify Your name

2010-10-28T23:47:00.003+08:00

Yes, I mind alot that it's 8pm at night and i wanted to go and find you but i have to end up gng home alone. Is it so difficult for you to send me home once in a while? I mind going home alone. ALOT. and my girl friend gets send home by you just because it is CONVENIENT for you. and i mind that ALOT too. I wouldn't mind if you are sending me home often but no, how many times do you actually send me home? less than 10 times. Out of that 10 times, how many times did you send me home because you wanted to? I'm upset because your bus fare is more impt than my safety. I'm upset because I don't know when I can meet up with you again and you didn't seem to mind that fact at all. I am tired. Temptations and thoughts of giving up do pop up randomly here and there but I'm still holding on. Some things you forever won't understand.

2010-10-05T01:32:00.003+08:00

*sneeze* decide to update this dusty old blog since i just gt my laptop back. I'm still keeping this blog for the fun of it.

a few updates:

1. working full time now at wisma temporarily before moving over to RT. love it here. so much better than airport. the operation hours and location is already a big plus point.

2. God has blessed me tremendously these few weeks from work all the way down to my relationship with Him. My pay la, my work la, my schedule la. All like machiam plan out long ago liao and right now it is being executed.

3. Got a little bit annoyed over money issues

4. Hurray for me! I'm finishing "Getting Started" and moving on to "Christian Lifestyle"!

and the list goes on and on and on.

aiya basically, as much as i love it over here at WA, I remembered my goal and decision. Hence, despite the nice people here and others asking me to go over or to stay here, I'm still going over to RT. Afterall, I wanted to acquire the skills needed to be a professional barista. As nice as all the other options may seem, I believe if i continue on with RT more blessings are coming my way. There is a plan to be fulfilled.

Recently I asked myself why do I feel so not motivated to work and then I realise tt's cos fnb is not really what i enjoy doing. yea, i do like serving guests but I enjoy teaching and training new staff better (not because I get to slack ok ). Hence, i decide to move into the line of trainers. 3 more years in fnb and tt's it man. I'm not gng to keep staying in front line for the rest of my life. So boring and tiring!

As much as the idea scares me, I wanna join SNBC (go and google it for those who don't know what it stands for) well, i just thgt that if i wanna step out as a trainer, i got to have a bit of a title. Perhaps a degree in Human Resource will be good too. But tt's quite a long way down. I don't think i can do it but i believe all i need to do is just to take one step out of my comfort zone and all the rest will be completed for me.

oh well, one step at a time.

2010-07-25T22:12:00.002+08:00

我想我应该放下一切，学习如何习惯一个人生活。

因为维独放下一切，才能重新开始。

犯的错，太多太多...

牵扯与伤害到的人也太多太多...

我想挥掉以前所有的过错，重新在一张洁白的纸画过我的生活...画出一格七彩缤纷的图画...

放下一切吧，重新开始你自己的生活吧...

愈合了自己那破碎以久的心，才能再次全心全意地去爱一个人...

已经没有什么你能够做的了...

对彼此的误解太多了...

原谅他，原谅自己，放下一切，重新认识彼此才能重新开始...才能得到幸福...

用这段时间为自己的幸福做准备吧...

2010-07-14T01:44:00.002+08:00

ok. that's it. totally get on my nerves today. I know I still can take it. I just need to let the steam off so that i can take it again. I know I'm gonna sound all high and mighty and etc etc BUT I'm not gng to care. up to this pt im still gonna practice internet responsibilities and keep the names as confidential as possible. for the sake of all you people asses. ah!

eh, come on. fine, milk jug still dirty from last night. my fault. i nvr clean properly. i gt no excuse for that. pineapple juice expire long ago nobody check. fine, partially my fault too for not checking. BUT is it ENTIRELY my fault? no what. anything expire never throw is night barista fault la? you do morning cannot throw la? floor dirty means i never mop la? come on, when the bar was handed over to me the floor is alrdy THAT dirty. and the mop is alrdy freaking dirty why nobody bother to change it? the mop is at the stage where it cannot clean anything anymore. it has been dirty for so long why you do morning never go clean it? so i night have to clean everything la? just because i do housekeeping means i have to clean everything la? so what? you take my housekeeping efforts for granted la? and for goodness sake la, stop leaving things lying all over the place can? squeeze bottles here and there la...knife on top of the sink la, on top of the coffee machine la...they are all over the place! condiment box for azuki beans also don bother to wash...blender also just wash with water jiu put back liao. busy or not also do the same. wash with water also nvr wash properly. kao! most importantly, the coulis also just put on top of the old ones. come on, you dono wat is FIFO is it?! still can tell people you smell alrdy if sour then throw away... piang eh...gahhhh!!!!!!!!!! you want come and tell me what i nvr do? i come and tell you wat you nvr do la! *faint*

sometimes i wonder why i'm putting my all for this place...for people who don take pride in their work...for people who just wait for others to clean up their shit for them...

2010-07-13T02:19:00.002+08:00

oh how I hate it when I'm being judgmental...when my emotions took control over me...like seriously, WHEN WILL I EVER LEARN?! Gah!!!!!!!!!!! *sulk* so irritated at myself... why did i even get irritated in the first place? cos the runner not fast enough to pick up the drinks? come on, he is new. i don think you yourself can make it that fast either. or is it because you are blaming yourself for not doing the cleaning fast on your side? I have no idea why cleaning took so long today. seriously, it is so easy to say "well, learn from your mistakes" and then when the circumstances arrive, all the mistakes made before start to come back up again...and there, that's my problem. Solution? still thinking about it... Gosh, there are so many things that Man need to learn... patience, love, understanding, kindness etc etc... no wonder we are given a lifetime to learn them...zzz... but argh!!!!!!!!! what if they complain? i don't think so. since i didn't do anything that bad. but you never noe, nowadays my boutique seem to have alot of customers complaining. they complain le then come back again...I'm not sure if that's a good thing though...no point worrying, what's done is done...feel that my worry is all for nothing only... oh God, help me T_T

on the good note, finally after dono how many tries i can draw a nice heart on my coffee! yay! now just need to refine it and make it bigger on the kenya cup. ^^

omg, should i transfer to another place when someone else takes over the boutique? ( it's just my own prediction) like, what exactly are my reasons for doing so? it can be quite a struggle. the thoughts that are running through my head are like this:

" I dont want to work with him... he takes control, that's it... I don wan to work for him... he doesn't even take pride in whatever he is doing!"

" but transferring for a reason like that...isn't it childish? just because you don like him...not that anyone over there does...next time you wont get a luxury like tt you noe"

" it is precisely next time cannot so now do it ma..."

" you shouldn't be thinking this way... you think you wan to transfer jiu can meh?"

" pray to God?"

maybe i can get a better reason when my timetable is out... haiz, really, if it's not for the vision and the opportunity, I would have left... press on my dear, yes, press on. Keep your eyes on the end result. oh God, please, let that project come to fruition. Place me under someone who is willing to coach me. Put me in a place where I can learn about service and coffee daily as I work. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

oh well, think i shall end here. think too much till i dono what else to type liao

2010-06-20T00:24:00.002+08:00

had a great day today! never felt the presence of God so strongly in a church before. everyone was like really into worshiping God and enjoying His presence. everybody from young to old is there to listen to God's message and worship Him. So lively=] pastor's message was about righteousness through mercy and having a big heart. I've learnt something new today!

had dinner then went to ntuc xtra at jp. bought stuff to make my sandwich. decide to try out bacon and cheese. yum yum. henzy had the first taste and he says its gd=] haha. next time should buy more bacon and make it for dinner at home. oh oh and i enjoy doing grocery shopping with min. haha! cos its like shopping with my mom! oops.

i guess tt shall be all tonight. gt a phone call to make and i nd to slp early!!!!!!!!!!!!! gng marina barrage tmr with awesome people =]

2010-06-18T14:58:00.003+08:00

have been wanting to blog for AGES but i always fall aslp before i can even finish HALF of it. lol. think i will just do a short one before i go shower and prep for work. (work! zzzz-.-)

anyway, trybe shoot out was fun! one bunch of ppl taking out their cameras and snapping here there and everywhere. was damn broke then so i had to make my own lunch. =[ let's have a second round! haha! all in all i enjoyed myself though my tiredness sank in and i didn't talk much. =x

looking forward to sat and sun! going to see awesome people! wanna talk to them more and know them more! God please bless us with a bright and sunny weather on sunday! rain clouds shoo and go away!

I need to and I want to stock my love tank up through the love that God has and will always show me and by loving the people around me because it is my calling (in fact, everybody else too) and there is someone I need to love together with God. If I'm low or empty on love, how can I do that right? haha

so excited and happy right now. God knows why=]haha! ^^=)=]:]:) happy happy=] so happy that it is overflowing=]

I want to see your sweet smile and say words that will melt your heart again=]

2010-06-13T01:58:00.002+08:00

haven blog for ages again.

today was definitely a very spiritually refreshing day! visited CHC for their service. got to experience a different church culture. made new friends and see alot of different things. looking forward to visiting CHC again! Sermon was very inspiring today too!

Re-dedicated my life to Jesus again today. Been through a tough time, backslide abit too. I think Christians at some point of time will go through this period but then they will emerge stronger and victorious after the whole thing! Yes, there are times where I feel regret about what I've done. There are times where I feel like beating myself up. There are also nights where regret, guilt, remorse and disappointment just built up and I will break down even though I reject all of them. Then I will complain to God why aren't You taking all of them away. But after today's sermon I realize a Christian's life is full of trials and tribulations. Yes, I may have disappointed God 'cause I forsaken Him, 'cause I failed all of His tests. But it is through all these tests that I learn and grow stronger. Never once I forget His calling for me to love though many a times I fail to do so. My goal in Christ - to be faithful and true to God so that I will never forsake Him again.

There are bound to be much more trials coming along the way. I prayed to God that I will emerge victorious in each and every tests that He has for me and that the people around me will encourage me, support me and give me the strength to pull through every one of them.=]

2010-03-31T23:45:00.002+08:00

Did I mention that I'm collecting pokemon now? Jasper gave me a meowth since that is his favourite pokemon. LOL. Was waiting for a kid to give up the Palkia and Dialga at Taka the other day. I was just one step, really ONE STEP behind her only lor. Then when I saw that she found the Palkia I'm like shit, sian. Then when she found the Dialga I even more sian. Then when she keep looking at it and think and think and think I keep standing behind her all the time waiting for her to give them up. In the end, I think her dad only want to buy one for her so she gave up the Palkia. I'm like saded cos I wanted BOTH of them. But oh well, having one is better than none. Then the kid hid the Palkia at the back before going off. Well, too bad for her the moment she left I took it and went to pay. I laughed at the kid's attempt cos I remember doing the same thing when I was a kid.

The book that I'm currently reading is really a good book. It changed my perspective about love and relationships. Love is an effort, a choice. After the so-called honeymoon period, what comes after is really an effort and choice to continue loving the person. There are 5 primary love languages that people have. Words of affirmation, quality time (which is Henzy's primary Love language and I'm BAD at it.), gifts (this is my primary love language), acts of service and physical touch. So in order to make a person feel loved, you got to speak their primary love language. This does not only applies to couples but people around you too. Quality time...hmmm...sian, this is going to take quite a bit of time to get used to. My attention span usually very short.

"Give, and it will be given to you..." Does that mean if I give someone a DS I will get one in return too? just kidding

2010-03-31T01:26:00.003+08:00

haven been blogging for ages. Like really AGES! just a few quick updates...

1. tcc t3d is having a 1-for-1 promo and it's only exclusive to t3d. customers are happy but staff are complaining about it. of course will complain la. 1 hr earn $1000 busy like siao lor. haven get the chance to experience it yet but im sure one of these days i will. Would like to challenge the bar but I think I will pass on it for the time being.

2. Yul compliment that I'm getting faster. I didn't know that till he made that comment. Thanks Yul for the compliment and Maisie for guiding me along the way=]

3. I still wanna transfer to Suntec with the next available opportunity. Yes, I don't want any other boutique except Suntec.

4. Had birthday celebration with cell at tcc. Cos Canele at Raffles City is under renovation. Got a book called "The Five Love Languages Singles Edition" from Mirabel. Reading it now and I would say it is a very good book. I will highly recommend you to get it if you would like to improve your relationships with people be it your lover, parents, coworkers or the stranger down the street.

5. Had a interesting meeting with this guy on my 911 bus ride home. I was reading the book mention in No. 4 and he came and asked me what is this book about so I told him it is about the five primary love language that people speak. Then he ask if it is a christian book then I say sort of, it does not really have a lot of christian content. Then he return the book to me and I continue reading it. Less than 2 minutes later he ask me which church I came from so I replied FCBC. Seems to me that he knows about FCBC. Then we got on the bus and he alighted 2 stops before me. Before he left he bid goodbye. I got a feeling that we are probably going to meet again. Maybe in church, somewhere down the street or perhaps at church.

6. I want to get a nintendo DS. But Henzy David wants me to save up for it. Haiz

7. Collecting pokemon at the moment. Stopping for a while now cos I need to wait for the pay to come. PAY FASTER COME AR FASTER COME!

8. Applying for SIM GE now. Hopefully application will be successful.

9. I need to pray to God for 2 things, actually 3 instead: transfer to Suntec, successful uni application and my DS! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

10. er, hmmm, seems to me that min min is getting more spiritual after attending SOT. Good for her.

That's all folks!

2010-03-17T01:08:00.002+08:00

Facebook is loading so slow that I cannot stand it. What is wrong with it?Went shopping today. Had a great dinner at Fish & Co, followed by Gelare ice cream with chocolate chip waffles. yum yum ^^. Bought a pair of clips from Cactus and Pine, 2 notebooks from Urban Write and then finally a vintage Mickey Mouse pocket watch! wanted to put the pic here but it take so long that i lost patience. Please refer to my Facebook photo albums to have a look at it. I simply adore this piece of watch. It's from Japan Disneyland and only cost me $30! Simply love every single bit of the watch. Thanks henzy for paying $10 for it=]. Had a great time today=]

2010-03-11T02:42:00.003+08:00

I need new stuff to do online other than hunting mouses. LOL! mouses. MICE la! I want new games to play and I want new shops to look at online. Will my contact lens faster come? Spree is only ending on sunday. I hope it comes before my birthday. Speaking of birthday, these are the things that you can get me =]

1. A pair of Levi's jeans

2. A 25 hours watch

3. Pay me to get my hair colour done

4. New pair of flats (like I don't have enough of them)

5. New pair of Converse high cut sneakers

oh well, looks like I will be getting all of them myself since the only ones that read my blog are hd and sj. One has already decided what to get for me (I'm sure I will like it =]) and the other one, even just a birthday wish is fine =] Gonna ask my parents for that 25 hours watch. Eh wait, cannot la my school fees are probably going to be very taxing for them already. (I'm speaking like I have already be accepted into the school like that)

Thinking of transferring to tcc at suntec since there are people I know there and the late working hours at airport is a problem. Not like I stay very near also. Since school will no longer be at tampines then no point working at airport too. I wanna learn bar and I know the people there will be willing to teach me properly. Yes I know I have a purpose to fulfill but I realised it today that the moment God revealed His purpose for me, I have already forgiven them. Now I have a different one. To coach and still continue to forgive the guests and people who have offended me. Prayed to God that He will let my university application and the transfer of boutique be successful.

Latest craze: SHINee and Kiss of Rose Princess aka Barajou no Kiss

2010-02-28T01:41:00.002+08:00

wonder if anybody still read my blog...but oh well, below is my shopping list...get me any one of those and i will be damn happy=] *hint**hint*

1. another pair of Levi's jeans

2. 2 more pairs of shorts

3. another pair of nice, simple and light colour pumps

4. NEO Sunflower Grey contact lens (this is like the top of my list but i wonder why it's at no. 4)

5. and oh, a bag=] spotted a nice one online

i should just stop shopping online...it's burning a hole into my already burnt pocket....

2010-02-26T21:07:00.002+08:00

so much so for taking a break from fnb job...

i'm back at tcc and the same boutique...yup...why? well, money is good there and timing is flexible...so i can have time for dating and trybe runs and myself...so why not? interview was easy peasy...in fact it wasn't really an interview after they know i work at t3d before so ya, go in less than 5 mins come out and i get the job...oh well, i wonder how shld i react on my first day...just do whatever i've been doing or be like a newcomer? God led me here so im putting this into His hands, trusting that He will be with me till the end...at first i thgt that it is just a simple answer to my prayer of getting myself a job...then it evolve to letting the people (by people i mean the senior staff who were there when i left) know and see how God has changed my life...indeed, through God, i am a changed person...

but God has much more in plan for me...in the days to come, im going on a path of spiritual healing...

i've always thgt healing will happen immediately the moment i pray for it...and i gt disappointed at times with God when my prayer wasn't answered immediately...but then again, henzy reminded me that it is not about my timing but God's...the reason why i don trust/believe/have faith in Him is because of the expectations that i want Him to meet...it should be the other way round...US meeting His expectations and NOT Him...after that i began to see the miracles that He has done for me and for others...

back to the topic, yes, im gng to embark on a path of spiritual healing...to forgive myself and accept my past...i hated my past self...for the hurt that i've caused to ppl and trouble that i've brought upon ppl...there are alot of things to be done and im not leaving that place till im completely healed...yes, this is a tough journey ahead but i will emerge victorious...with God and henzy by my side to guide me, hold me, protect me and bless me.... the devil is bound to come after me...nvr let me lose sight of the purpose that i nd to fulfill...amen...

2010-02-18T13:37:00.002+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CNY has been a very quiet holiday for me. that also means that my ang bao money not alot. haiz. oh well, at least im glad that i can get my nails done over there. waited for quite some time too. im really amazed and impressed by her skills. to draw up so many different designs for different people. tt's the difference in doing ur nails in m'sia and s'pore. true is true that s'pore you get a more spa like experience but it is more expensive and the designs aren't very nice. in m'sia, it's cheaper, design nicer and you get all ur nails painted with nail art too. usually they just paint it on like tt but of u get a gd one like the one i went, she will help you remove ur cuticle and clean ur nails too. did nail extension for my fingernails. at first i feel so uncomfortable that i had trouble picking up stuff but now im used to it.

yst was the last day of sch. graduation will be in april/may i think. many people alrdy has a job or alrdy went for job interviews. me leh?looking for part time job and university lor. and yes pls, i nd a break from fnb jobs.(like finally) so gt lobang pls tell me. thx alot=]

that aside, time to enjoy myself a little b4 all the hustle and bustle comes in... well, more like i just wanna stay at home and rot away...

2010-02-14T19:37:00.000+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!!!and oh, happy valentines day too=] this is for you bei er since you don seem to be online..finally, my aunt hse has a laptop and internet connection...not very fast but tt's better than nth...

quiet day for the first day of new year...alrdy received money from my parents and my aunt...two of my cousins are married but one cant give ang bao cos someone passed away at her husband's side and the other one...haiz...nvm...tmr will be gng for visiting...hope will receive alot of ang bao...cos inside prolly will have RM 4 only so the more the merrier...waiting for my mom's friends ang bao too...this year don really have new year feeling...so bored lor...i don even really noe the ppl here...haiz...cannot sms somemore...sian...but i shld be glad that i can use the internet...

went to did my nails as usual...over here cheaper and they are more skilled...they nvr fail to amaze me at how they can just draw designs out like tt and all of them are beautiful...i like my toenail design better than my finger ones...but oh well, my toenails are gng to last me much longer anyway...so its a gd thing that they are nicer..my fingernails are now fake ones...did acrylic nails extension...total add up to RM 120...haha...my sis went to do with me too...over there gt alot of ppl lor...and only gt 2 ppl working...i guess they are really gd since my cousin recommend it and alot of ppl are willing to wait...one even waited 3hrs for her turn...haha...

bei er, i miss you la..last night cannot slp properly...so touched by ur letter...you are so cute...aiyo, im so ps to type this...you ar...when i come back i will tell you how much i miss you ok? i gt rmb to take photos...haha...k la, you tc of urself too ok?don eat too much heaty stuff...=]love you, hugs...

2010-02-04T23:30:00.000+08:00

finally i am awake enough to blog.

INTERNSHIP FINALLY ENDED!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( i noe im late in announcing this but oh well...i just want to)now that we are about to graduate, it's time to think of wat i wan to do...to cont studies or to go straight to work? there are alrdy ppl who went for job interview and i believe some of them may have alrdy started working...oh well...chances are, im gng to get into uni and cont studying...don't wanna work full time yet...probably going to go back tcc work part time...

had a fun day with henzy the day before...cldn't have a nice date for a long time cos no time and both of us no money and well, me being lazy la ha...went to far east to have a hair cut...the uncle cut until a bit too short for me...now i look like min min...not tt it is a bad thing...i still think she looks better with long hair...then henzy went to repair my hp for me...thx God that i can collect it tmr=] after that we went to catch a movie...The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus...it was quite a gd movie...love johnny depp and jude law...they are totally hot...after that we went for gelare waffle ice cream...yum yum ^^ sat at the same spot as last time=] then we went shopping...wanted to get something from pmk but all the nice ones don have my size...manage to get a top from Miss Emily for cny...then we head for home...the next thing i wanna do is go cycling at east coast or take a walk at botanic gardens...

research paper is really RESEARCH paper...so much research to be done...i better buck up and pick up on speed lest i don slp on mon again...haiz...oh well, one last step before i graduate...

2010-01-05T22:46:00.002+08:00

lesson learnt: be careful what you asked for.

hurray for jan! this means internship is ending...which is a good thing...very very good thing...body esp my stomach is all screwed up due to irregular eating hrs and sleeping time...puke like 5 times in a week...ate medicine but it is making me worse...puke again this morning but LUCKILY i felt much better after that...sad thing is my appetite not back yet...gt so pek cek with my body that i cried...my sis came in and comfort me...nvr mess with my stomach and meal times again...doc say it's stomach virus but nvr tell me how it even get inside my body...

Food to eat after i get my appetite back:

- Aston's black pepper steak

- tcc Aglio Olio

well then, ciao

2009-12-20T20:15:00.002+08:00

Vivian Ma's laptop is hopeless...kao...show you a pic of it...once again i love my hp cos i can just upload the pic from my hp to the comp...hopefully my bills dont be another $50 again...its taking damn slow leh...oh well, it's a hp...don expect too much...haha...

I feel sad for God...cos the meaning of Christmas has been diluted throughout the yrs...the past 2000 years...what do small kids think of when Christmas is mentioned to them? Santa Claus...Pastor Eugene Seow doesn't like Santa Claus...He says it is satan with a hidden 'n'...haha...Henzy says that theoretically it is true because Christmas is about Jesus! A Saviour who is born on that day! and satan create Santa Claus to bring people away from the true meaning of Christmas. The Lord Jesus Christ may be born on that day but what we should celebrate on Christmas is the good news that the angels brought to the 3 shepherds and not His birthday...The good news, as all Christians should know, is a Saviour is born to redeem us...

Today, as i was on the bus to church, i experience a tiny bit of the loss and depression Adam and Eve went through after they were banish to Earth. They once had a thing so great and precious but yet because of their own foolishness, they lost it. I guess that's what makes me want to experience God more and be with Him every single moment of my life. Do you people out there understands how much God yearns for us? How much He love us? I don't think anyone will be able to understand that to the fullest extent...for His love is so great. I personally may not feel to the fullest extent His love for me. But I know that if He is willing to put His Son on the cross so that we can be redeemed and purchased back from eternal darkness where Lucifer reigns, His love for us must be very great...so great that no love on this earth can ever replace His. This is how much God yearns for us to draw near to Him even after the foolishness of Adam and Eve...He put His Son on the cross so that we can get to know the Father through the Son for only the Son will truely know how the Father is like.

A walk with God is never easy and will never be easy...Choose today, right now, whether you want to be save by my Lord Jesus Christ or continue to dwell in sins and be pawns of the devil...my walk is difficult in the sense that it test my patience and wears me down by making me wait and wait and wait for the things that i want to see...but I know that at the end of the day, something so great and so good awaits me...yes, I choose to admit that I am nothing at all...nothing compared to God...that's why I need Him...to pull me through the tough times and to save me from all the disasters in life...and to complete things that I am unable to complete alone...I choose my Lord Jesus Christ and the Almighty God...what about you?

2009-12-17T23:59:00.000+08:00

I think its total and complete, ok, maybe to a certain BIG extent, that it is complete and total bullshit when someone comes and tell me "I'm a professional. I don't mix personal emotions with my work." Yeah right.

Realised this through the events and work...ya i know i haven't been treating the ang moh very fairly from her first day till now but i was nice to her yst ok...said hi and share whatever tt happen during the 2 days when she wasn't around. ask her to help me coach the new trainee cos i gt an unexpected half day off yst. looking at her reminds me of the days back at tcc...yeah, i was a complete bastard or bitch or whatever you want to call it then...i feel tt if you generally like someone, you will teach her all the things tt can be learned, share with her everything...but if you don't like her, you probably teach her the minimum and then tt's it. even if you teach her more, she don't get the chance to practice...seeing the ang moh just reminds me of the times where i wanted to learn bar at tcc but they told me stuff like who am i working with on the day la, the schedule tt i give la, whether the manager will be free to guide you or not la...yeah right...

BULLSHIT

believed it at first cos im still having sch...but when it comes to the holidays? when i give anytime as my timing? did i get it? NO...gt closing shift all the time...and ppl who came after me gt to learn bar! guess what? She is the small little cute girl that everybody likes. the thgt tt came to my mind then was why shld i be so hardworking on the floor if i dont get to learn bar?might as well i just slack my way thru...we get the same pay also wat...yeah right, my schedule don fit la, i nd ppl to help me take care of the floor outside la...dont like me, dont want to teach me just say la ok...

another classic example, the HOB then was v close with another part timer then...and guess wat? she knows everything...and i mean EVERYTHING...right down to the manager's work...and cos of this, she is a manager right now with the help of the HOB then. does the other old part timers know what she know? NOPE...big and Fat NOPE...

so dont come telling me tt you dont mix your emotions with your work...no matter how professional you are, there will still be a certain percentage that you do...if you really think tt you are fair to everyone at work, even to the one that you dislike, prove it to me and i ll believe...

2009-12-10T02:08:00.001+08:00

haven blog for AGES...no time, too tired and internet connection down...wonder why min always have time to blog...kaoz...oh well...as usual, a few short updates

1. body is falling apart...simply cannot cont this kind of hrs anymore...if not i ll age faster than avg girls...oh my goodness...cannot let tt happen...soooooooooooooooo gng to get a job tt ends latest at 10 and let me have my ph off...

2. GT A NEW HP!!!...Thank God for it...answered my prayer, make it cheap for me and then return the money back to me again...=]

3. Christmas is coming so im busy with gift shopping and card making on top of my where-got-time schedule...henzy you can forget abt me buying you a nemesis prime by christmas...

4. CHRISTMAS = 5 more weeks to the end of internship...wahahah...part time job? you siao ar...time to enjoy life...

5. gt a new trainee at work...which makes the ang mo look even more unaccepted...cos jennifer and me bz with coaching...only lawrence has the time to talk to her...cos he practically does almost nth at all...

6. my workplace is having a gift exchange...and all of us is scheming towards steven...pls dont take my report to threaten me...haha...i've gt everybody's signature at the back to show tt we all agree on it...

7. nearly forget abt my journal with so much activity gng on...

8. received a xmas card from one of my guest...lol...airmail from japan...then gt itachi stamp on it...lol...made a simple one and sent back to him....

9. kao...off day from today change to sunday...zzz...

10. no comments...just putting it there so tt it looks nice...

haha..oh well, seasons greetings

2009-11-27T01:44:00.002+08:00

Bloody shit...you may be the most well-liked manager but apparently you have issues with giving clear cut instructions. can't even tell me what time to start work...one moment this can then the next this cannot...then after tt you do it urself...then say not all things manager do are correct...mega roll eyes...if you have an issue with my personal life, come and tell me directly. don tell me you don mind then at the back tell me you mind...how am i supposed to know then?ya, the third party did tell me...all thx to the third party...you like to dig hole for ppl to fall in right? I ask God to drop you into one damn big hole and see you like it or not la...kaoz...say my personal issue affect my work when its just one table de peanuts not top up...they don even want it in the first place lor...roll eyes again...kaoz...damn tired alrdy but now freaking awake cos of this...

why ar...why i hold so tightly to so many things ar?i'm like totally enlightened today can...hold so tightly for what?they are all temporal...as quoted by henzy...just take it as they come and go lor...hold so much...all gng to end when i die what...kaoz...feel like a burden has been lifted from my heart...Praise the Lord for this...

Dear Father in Heaven,

I thank You...thank you for being faithful...thank you for letting me know a part of what it means and what it takes to surrender my life to You...thank you Father for the blessings You have given me...I praise You Father...Thank you for letting me know that this is all part of Your plan...In Christ name I pray and thank You Father, Amen

2009-11-25T01:04:00.002+08:00

haven blog for a very long time...internship can be quite tiring...so gng to take a break from work aft SIP...definitely gng to go for private university....just a few updates

1. Christmas is coming...as much as i want to celebrate my first Christmas as a Christian, chances are I can't...oh well...

2. lost control of myself twice during work

3.my room has a mini make over....

eyes closing...so long then...=]

2009-10-29T00:59:00.002+08:00

wanted to blog in details but apparently im falling aslp and i have something more important like my e-journal to do...haiz...so i better complete it or at least half of it before i fall aslp completely...hence i only have time to blog like a summary of it?haha...oh well, i shall blog in details if i rmb or not too lazy to do so...

few updates:

1. the whole church now has this book called Living Life to help us have quiet time with God everyday. I find that it is a very good book for both young and old christians. grew more in God and faith. i would say within these few months i have indeed grown as a christian...henzy is proud of me...^^

2. ask God what is His purpose for me and told Him that He can depend on me to fulfil it. i feel that He has alot of purposes for me to fulfil in this lifetime of mine. but the first one that He would like me to fulfil will be being humble. some ppl can have glory yet remain humble but im the kind that loves glory but becomes prideful after a while. hence He would like me to be obedient and humble myself down before i am able to listen to His other words and fulfil other greater things for Him.

3. if by holding this much, will cause the fall to be so painful to me, then i rather not hold anything to me at all...not holding anything else except for God and Henzy. For they will always be there for me, faithful to me and never hurt me.

4. run a whole bar by myself for 2 occasions and did morn shift alone this month. certainly very great achievements for myself. thank God for that. pastor says much is given, much is required and i think more chances of attacks from the evil one.zzz

5."if the president of United States wants to meet you, will you go?" i will definitely answer "No" cos i think its a waste of time unless it is something impt to me. and then cell leaders like xxx will answer back "so that means if God wants to meet you, you will not go la" OH COME ON, HOW CAN YOU A CELL LEADER MAKE SUCH COMPARISON? THEY ARE ON T-O-T-A-L-L-Y and i repeat TOTALLY DIFFERENT LEVEL CAN?!the president is just someone God appointed to rule over His people.He is nothing compared to the glory of our Father in Heaven. *roll eyes*

tt's pretty much my update. gt to go back to my e-journal....haiz....sian...hungry....sip faster end....

2009-10-15T18:50:00.002+08:00

WARNING: THIS IS A VERY LONG POST

haven been updating very often...apparently min min is the only one free to update her blog reguarly..haha...so fast mid oct liao...sian...haven came up with a mini project to do for the portfolio draft...haiz...nd to do the journal too...nd to finish it within the next 2 off days i have...

This 1 month has really been an eventful month..grew alot...know the importance of having patience and not blowing my top over the slightest thing...learnt the importance of being humble and only showing my skills when needed..experienced God's blessings and favour as well as attacks from the evil one...learnt what it really means to have faith in God and to grasp onto His rope...went through ups and downs in my relationship too but i know we can pull through it no matter what=]

It is also tried, proven and tested that I have LOW OR ZERO tolerance for people who boast about experience and does nothing to show it and has big boobs but no brains. These people are usually term as BIMBO...goodness...

well, this bimbo is a new trainee from MDIS...from finland also....then everybody bz to social with her cos oh well, big boobs ma...somemore ang moh...seldom get ang moh trainee ma...but WHY CRB???????!!!!!!!!!!!waliao eh...throw her to EMC or BP la...let her die there..DIE THERE...haha...many a times i tell myself this is the way she is, different culture etc etc...but the next moment something will happen to make me take my words back...i've gt lots of story to bitch abt her...interested party can come and find me...very willing to share my experience...come find me leh...eager to tell ppl abt it...haha...

there are times where i wanted to blow my top or pick a fight with her but i tell myself no...cos i noe if i do that i will be ruining the favour that God has put me under...stupid lucifer...slap me left, right, up, down everyday can...zzz

anywhere, here is a brief account of my exp with her.

first day come say she gt 8yrs exp in bar...tell her abt stuff she gt comment on every single thing abt it...ask her steam the milk..kao eh..i can steam better can...jen wanted to laugh at her la...my eyebrows just went up...instead of foam its just bubbles...still gt excuse say she forget how to use...*pui*then ask her to pipe the beer...she ask how to operate the david machine...WALIAO EH...DONT YOU HAVE 8 YEARS EXP?then she say back in finland the beer is press a button jiu ll come out wan...pls la...you think is coffee ar?

boycott her once by not giving her tips at the end of the night..everybody don like her lor...except for boss...but now he also say she give him headache too

her most commonly used phrases" of course..." and "cos back in my country..."HELLO? which country are you in now?SINGAPORE NOT FINLAND

there is once she buy cigarette from 7 11...and i share cab with her...waited for like more than 10 mins?the uncle get down to find her...i ask her is it cos the queue v long tt's why so long she say yes then i forget abt it...the next day jen tell me she buy cigarette liao then was talking to another ang moh...wanted to crush her like a paper and throw into a waste paper basket then send straight to the compactor room...kaoz...

ok, end of ranting...there are more bt i lazy to type...

this section onwards is requested by my darling bei er, henzy...haha

k la k la bei er...i blog abt us ok?*snuggle*

"abt us"

there...i blog "abt us" le...

k la, not funny..

nvr thgt you will fall for me...nvr thgt it will be so fast...thgt it will spend some more time...i appreciate all the flowers and effort you made for me...though sometimes you are alittle irritating and make me feel sian and tired of you, i still love you all the same...sry for all the heartaches and pain i made you go thru...i noe we still have a long way to go...but we will pull thru it...all of it...it may be tiring but i noe we will make it...we have each other to replenish the energy=]i do noe we are meant to be too...just tt sometimes i don express myself tt well...like i said, the devil make the effort to break us apart everyday...tt has to mean something rite?

shall stop here...i ps liao la...><

2009-09-29T13:51:00.002+08:00

wanted to blog about this aft watching it from wk's blog...its damn funny and useful for ppl in the service industry...wish i can attend one of Ron Kaufman's talks...only watch 2 parts out of the 12 or 15 parts of the video...catch the rest another time...

LOL...I'm a service quality husband

2009-09-22T23:57:00.002+08:00

FINALLY I CAN BLOG ABOUT MY INTERNSHIP...
so freaking tired and busy tt i gt no time and energy to blog abt it...my working hrs are like late night...oh well...all i can say abt my SIP is that

IM LOVING IT!!!!

haha...i have a good boss, good colleagues and conducive environment to learn new stuff=] and its very slack over there...like really slack...haha...learnt how to do the basic stuff like serving and take order(which i alrdy know but here do in a diff way...so i pass tt one within less than 30 mins from the start of work) then move on to closing...pretty simple too...just gt to catch the timing rite...im familiar with the cashiering system too...been taught how to do the reports for kiosk...bt haven really try it out yet...another thing im excited abt is making drinks...*wide grin* learnt how to do margarita and daiquiri alrdy...and long island tea too...=] pretty much can handle kiosk alrdy...just tt i don like the carrying of tables cos they are very heavy...not say tt im an expert in handling kiosk ALONE...bt still, im making progress...so that jennifer can go enjoy with her husband in dec and not worry abt kiosk...and steven don have to worry abt it too much too...

one thing i have to work on is my punctuality...(as always) oh well, gt to wake up earlier and move out of hse earlier cos nd to put make up and collect uniform and change into it..the make up everyday is not gd for my skin...nd to take extra care of it if i don wan it to deterioate...

this week having orientation...today is the first day...boring lor can...very dry...nearly fell aslp...bt still...looking forward to tmr's lunch...cos eating at emc...even though gt ppl say not nice...tried blue potato chips which surprisingly is good...haha...now i hungry...sian...

anyway im gng ti slp...nite

2009-09-04T14:34:00.002+08:00

went to swissotel to try the uniform yst...thgt chuan ann will be in the same place as me bt in the end he is in ellenborough market cafe (emc) while im at crossroads bar (crb)...reporting time on wed is 1.30pm...phew, at least i don have to wake up early...nd to put make up and wear heels for work...sian...went to buy a new pair yst...nt too high ones...cos the long maroon skirt is alrdy making my legs look longer than they alrdy are...oh well...i wld say the uniform quite pretty la...the skirt is something like the SQ stewardess kind?the style la not the pattern...looking forward to my first day at swissotel=] wat's left to get is stockings..if my mom's paying then im getting new mascara and cotton pad from body shop...

dinner yst at cck...ate zhi char...the stingray nice can...waliao..miss the taste...*drool*satisfied with dinner yst...though it will be better if they gt cockles...haha

2009-09-03T00:15:00.002+08:00

finally, i gt time and mood to update and my blogger is working fine again=] all thx to br help on his blog..haha...

received a letter from changi airport today...thgt wat does the airport gt to do with me now tt im not working there anymore...then i open the letter and voila! its the invitation to watch the changi airport race from the grandstand!!!wahhaha...ok, im excited cos this is the first time i won something big in a lucky draw...i was just eating at tcc on my last day of work and then just enter the draw for fun...nvr expect to win it=] looking forward to the race...

Holidays started quite a few days ago...instead of a 2 mth holiday mine is cut down to 1 week...sian...SIP gonna start soon...excited abt it too...=]tmr gng to receive my schedule and collect my uniform...haha..

2009-08-22T11:47:00.002+08:00

Something is still wrong with my mozilla wen i access blogger...sian...hope it goes away soon by itself...haha...just a few updates today..

1. EXAMS ARE HERE!!!!
sian...as all tp students know, this week is exams week..i gt FIVE papers..from yst till fri...fnb paper was ok...lucky i can answer all the case study qn...not very sure of it but still...at least i can get a good portion of the marks there...prayer and studying tgt does work...(like Frans or in fact everybody else will say, "Don't be like Henzy" LOL!)

2. MY NAILS ARE PINK!
yup...went to have a classic mani and pedi opp sch yst...haven done tt for a long time so ya...feels gd man...now is the time to paint my fingernails cos wen sip start...there goes my nails again...haha..BUT! cos i was wearing shoes so the colour of my socks went to the nails...MEGA SIAN CAN...but oh well, the person say i can go back and redo it for free if kena...should have wore white socks...oh well, next time, don wear shoe if you are gng to do ur toe nails...

3. BUS INCIDENT
this happen quite sometime ago...was waiting the in front bus to go so tt my bus can reach the bus stop and let ppl board and alight...however, sometime was wrg with the bus in front so its like 5 to 6 buses behind all caught up...don even noe wat's wrg...lucky my bus not trapped so it can still reverse and come out of the queue to let us board...pity those ppl who are trapped there...then after tt was slping on the bus wen there is a sudden jerk and i nearly flew out cos i was sitting in the middle seat at the last row..then a small kid start crying..thgt its just a small incident but the bus driver went to confront the car driver who scratch the bus...i didnt get to see it bt ya...it must have been pretty bad for the bus driver to do so...then he gt us to get off the bus and get a free bus trip later...bt to me, it doesn't matter...then the mother of the child complain and scold the car driver...wish my phone flew out and spoil so tt i can get him pay a new one...wahaha...ok, tt's evil...

alright...back to studies

2009-08-12T23:44:00.002+08:00

2 weeks of confusion...and tonight it all cleared=]

Answers have been found for the questions and peace has been brought back to the heart. Prayers were answered and mist shrouding around the heart has been cleared. Another chance has been given to us to do things right for once...so that there will be no regrets and things will be much easier to deal with in the future...after so many mistakes, it is time to learn from lessons and put them into use...

And if things do turn out right, everything will be much better, stronger and more mature than how it is now...

Once again, I see the wonders of our Father...

The greatest gift that He ever gave us is Free Will...

2009-08-08T19:59:00.003+08:00

This girl has issues currently...

exams issues, heart issues and MONEY issues...(yes mom, i DON'T NEED an unpleasant remark from you the moment i step into the hse...geez...i don wan to have to speak to you in a rude tone everytime i open my mouth to you)

yes, they are not big and major ones but small ones that prolly make myself look like a bimbo or bitch or whatever negative descriptions you can think of...

well, i don't give a shit anymore...

im sick and tired of life...sick and tired of the crossroads and decisions life has to offer...someone just do all the thinking and decision-making for me...and i ll be glad to just follow without thinking...

Father I know You will do this for me...

my brain is exhausted...yeah...BY SMALL LITTLE STUFF

on the other hand, gt slightly irritated by a grp of 10 ppl today...piang eh...my sign "please wait to be seated" so big they cannot see is it...just come in like they own the place like tt...thgt they having gathering or something then join the tables nice nice liao they take their books out...piang eh...my sign outside also say "kindly refrain from studying after 4pm on fridays, saturdays and sundays"...then i go tell them...they still ask me if they slowly drink the coffee can they stay i tell them you want stay can...np..bt aft 4pm i nd you to keep all the study materials...laptops are fine though...then one of the girls say "aiya, shld have brought my laptop then"...and this is wat went thru my head "you wan bring laptop bring la...you are such a big grp of ppl it makes my job of chasing you out eaiser...piang eh...10 ppl come study...bullshit lor...more like talking can"*roll eyes*

yes, little missy over here is in her bitchy mood now...*bites*

2009-08-04T12:31:00.002+08:00

Min's blog gt me thinking...

I always wanted to start working after I graduate...just straight into the working life without pursuing a further education qualification...now min keep telling me abt gng overseas to study, i think, for my area of industry, its always better to have at least a degree...

chances of me gng overseas? highly not possible...
1. not enough money...my parents gt 3 other daughters to worry abt so ya...
2. i cant bare to leave singapore where im so comfortable already.
3. hmmm...

oh well, bt i've decided that i will definitely go to a university...private i guess...since my results aren't good enuf to go to government ones...one that is good for htm...im considering MU...bt of course, there are other options available which i haven explore yet...gt to tell my dad abt this decision too...i noe he will support me...(of course will la...wapiang...im talking abt STUDIES over here leh...)

and i do agree that learning the skill to make the correct decisions in life is much more important than education

2009-07-27T21:15:00.001+08:00

people, pls go read min's blog...she has everything i wanna post about today...lol...nvr thgt she will really post it lor...zzz...eh girl, when i marry you i buy tt cartier ring for you la...haha!!!

I feel closer to God today...I give my life to You, my Lord

2009-07-25T23:50:00.000+08:00

there is something wrong with my blogger account pg...oh well...at least i still can type and post my entries, im pretty fine with it...hope the prob ll go away itself...haha...just like the one i had with my hotmail last time...

there are 2 things on my blog agenda today:
1. interesting turn of events on thursday
2. movie outing today

1. interesting turn of events
as usual, im working on thursday till 11 then hd come find me...hehe...we decided to take a cab home so went down to arrival and hop on a cab...the cab driver is an old uncle and i told him "uncle, 2 places, woodlands and bukit batok" then the uncle say west coast...at first i cldnt catch wat he say then i thgt he want to go to woodlands by west coast...so i tell him go by SLE...he nvr reply so i thgt he knew...then aft tt both hd and i feel abit weird why we are gng towards the city...in the end we realise the uncle didnt understnad wat we were talking and drove us to west coast...piang eh...told him the same thing 4x liao leh...then we gt off the cab w/o paying...pls lor..he didnt get us to our destination lor...we decided to get another cab and was walking along the pavement then the uncle stop in front of us and confronted us...in the end he left...and a complaint was lodge by hd...i wld have done it even if he doesn't...haha...so now i gt a slight phobia of old cab drivers...

2. movie outing
went ot watch public enemies with henzy, jasper, joadin and keith...the movie i wld say not bad la...bt i was slping for more than half of the movie cos i wasnt feeling well..feel like puking cos didnt had a proper meal...then after tt went to have chicken rice with wayne and jun jie...after dinner is soya bean milk...which is just next door...haha...go out iwht henzy sure gt nice and cheap food to eat...lol...and travel by bus too so i can save on my transport money...wahaha...

gng slp soon...tired...tmr still nd wake up early...zzz

2009-07-20T00:48:00.002+08:00

today is the first successful outing for the [.//ShadowHearts]!

went to this old train bridge and then have ice cream at Daily Scoop and then dinner at Rocky's Pizza...feel damn full can...but Daily Scoop ice cream nvr fail to disappoint me=] joevenn was scared to his core wen we are on the train bridge...cos he scared of heights...then janice v sadist..went to disturb him by purposely stomping on the bridge and pushing him...lol...joevenn don even dare to move a single bit...i was just sitting down there enjoying the sunset and breeze...henzy, being henzy, went around snapping his camera away...the bridge is a very nice place to do a photoshoot...the first time i went there gt a couple taking wedding photos...i wonder how the bride manage to get all the way up with the heels...

all in all, today is a fun day and i love it=]

shit, MICE interview, dpd presentation and OPERA test all in one day...and harry potter after sch...ahhhh...another packed day...im so screwed by my mom...zzz

2009-07-16T00:04:00.004+08:00

What comes around goes around...shit, karma is biting at me...

im such an idiot...

well, who isnt one when it comes to the affairs of the heart?

2009-07-15T00:45:00.002+08:00

I wanted to blog abt something...but i forget wat i wanted to blog abt...oh well...

I will never forget the 3 promises that I made

2009-07-13T09:46:00.003+08:00

in dpd tutorial right now...damn sian...and tired...sit here somemore stone i will fall aslp...haha...

went to church yst..Faith Community Baptist Church...woke up very early in the morning and then after that went to meet trybe people for ice age 3 movie...$13 lor the ticket...sian..next time don wan watch 3d movie liao...at least, make sure its a damn gd one...aft movie went to eat and then to mind's cafe! first time gng there...played 2 games...Bang! and Munchkins...haha...i prefer Munchkins...maybe cos im always playing mmorg games that's why names like" classes", "race", "monsters" and "dungeons" appeal to me more...haha...then vege, me, br and henzy gt cards where we can just sabo ppl and let them die...wahaha...but in the end nvr use lor...nvm...still gt next time...then cos of vege talking abt his experience in a yu-gi-oh competition br starts to "vocalize" his own card battle...-.-

all in all, yst was a fun day=]let's do this sometime again...

2009-07-12T01:17:00.000+08:00

something is eating up inside me...

savour this moment...

2009-07-09T15:12:00.003+08:00

and sometimes i wonder...wat is it that's in me that makes me strong? wat is it that's inside me that makes me brace through heartbreak after heartbreak and still do not fear to love?

For all humans love to know that they are not alone...

I have a feeling that history is going to repeat itself...

要搬过几个地方换几个伴才到对的人身旁?

ahhhhhhhh...whatever...I should just stop searching...grrrrr

2009-07-06T21:15:00.003+08:00

True love comes quietly...so please do not choose right now...for another shallow relationship will be formed and both parties will be hurt...just treasure the special bond that is being shared and let God heal the broken heart...If you want to love, love God...for He will love you back and never hurt you like how others will...When it is time to choose, He will tell you who to choose and it will be very clear and easy...

This serve as a reminder for myself too

2009-07-06T13:59:00.003+08:00

Once again, I'm in the sch lib...without ppl shouting across the room playing dota though...=]

having MICE tutorial later...damn sian...i just want to go home and slp...my eyes very tired today...wearing contacts somemore...

I feel like I gt alot of things on my plate...actually, is ok la...just that i nd to manage my time better...and push myself harder...it's time to reorganize my life

went sentosa yst with trybe people to have fun...fall aslp on the mat and then kena a little sunburn...my right shoulder damn pain now...kena thrown into the sea by vege and ym...then "drown" twice cos ym keep "tripping" me in the sea...-.- but all in all i had great fun=] let's do that again sometime

and sometimes i wonder...who read my blog?other than myself

This is the kind of time where I want to leave things in His hands yet I don't want to just sit down and wait for it to happen...

I want to slp...

2009-07-02T12:43:00.003+08:00

in school right now...at the library...trying to block out all the vulgarities that is flying all over the place because ppl are playing dota...-.-

came to sch just to config my laptop...and then staying here till 1 so that i can go for work...nth much to rant about...since i finish ranting in my other blog

things to do
1. read MICE report and prep for the interview session
2. KIV in lodging project..
3. start on the gaming one too

Outings
1. this fri
2. next wednesday...

Loving my new life right now =]

How does it feels like to fall in love? I've always questioned myself for I've yet to taste the sweetness of true love...to give and to receive from the same person...to look into the eyes and feel that anything else doesn't matter anymore

2009-06-27T23:53:00.002+08:00

just came back from camp...trybe volunteer camp...

glad tt i went for it=] met alot of ppl...of all age grps...bt mostly sec sch...and everybody thgt im in sec 4...zzz...then all kena shocked that im actually 19...-.-

wished trybe had come into my life wen i was sec sch too...i wld have become a better person....my life wld have been more fulfilling...

although it's just a small camp with only 20 plus participants...a normal 3 days 2 nights camp...i've learnt alot of life lessons...=]

thank you trybe...and thanks min, for suggesting joinin trybe and going for the camp=]

2009-06-18T21:30:00.003+08:00

my body feels so sore...like i just survive a gang fight...not that i do before...haha...wish my laptop will faster come back...*pouts*

忘れないで...永遠に...
Your tear streaked face on that faithful night...

2009-06-17T22:58:00.002+08:00

reading this book "Who's that Girl"...its a story of a very successful woman in her thirties gng back time to meet her 20 something self and how she manage to stop her 20 something self to make all the mistakes...quite interesting though...im reading books cos sad to say, my laptop went back for re-service...*grumble*

anyway, inspired by the book, i gt triggered to think abt how my life will be 10 yrs down the road...(since im not old enuf to think wat i will redo wen i was 10 yrs younger)...thsi is how i wan my life to be wen im 29...(gosh..tt's so old...bet i wont admit it wen i reach there...haha...)

hmmm...29 yrs old...

I will DEFINITELY be married...(hopefully...if not at least have a fiance that im about to marry)

stable and promising career path...in a hotel...fnb perhaps...

kids?nah...i ll just take min's children as my godchildren...haha...if she doesnt really elope somewhere else...

own a car...

able to balance my life out so that i have time for work and to live like a tai tai once a while...you noe...go drink high tea and shop ard without burning a hole in my pocket or go suntan...pray hard my figure will be still as gd...and to do things i like =]

still ABLE TO WATCH ANIME AND MANGA....

haha...its quite amusing to think abt these things once in a while...and then wen im 29...wat are the things i will want to change if i can meet my present self?

2009-06-16T16:14:00.002+08:00

GIGANTIC AMOUNT OF WORK TO BE DONE

again...

sian...

went to live like a tai tai with min yst...lazy to upload photo...haha...shop ard for my parents bdae present...bought a pierre cardin wallet for my dad and a bag from isetan for my mom...then went to teadot sit and drink tea and eat cake and read book...shall go suntan with her again to enjoy another day of tai tai's life...haha...

back to the ever high pilling up work to do...*grumble*

HHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

2009-06-10T23:35:00.002+08:00

went for jcg dance session on tues...thgt im gng to be alone...abit shy...(min say if i shy she tall...like wth la) then saw annabel...and realise she is in it too...phew...wat a relief...aft tt made new friends too!!!haha...then all of us who have zero cells in dancing start to learn lor...and guess wat? IT'S MY IDOL GROUP DBSK DE MIROTIC DANCE!!!!!kyaaa~~~~~haha...aft go hme practise a bit realise its not easy ot dance till as nice as them...i also noob in this too...haha...went home with shu ting...so qiao she live in woodlands too...she even more into jap than me...ahaha....looking forward to the session on sat!

2009-06-09T17:44:00.002+08:00

Have you ever thought what will happen if you let your soulmate go? Will your soulmate come back to you someday?

2009-06-09T17:25:00.003+08:00

ok, im in school library lvl 3 doing my project since i don wan to go home yet...and i don have anywhere else to go...i would like to make a comment...(i know i was emoing a while ago...)

WHAT'S WITH THE JUNIORS PLAYING DOTA IN SCHOOOL LIBRARY?!

hey come on, this is a L-I-B-R-A-R-Y...not a L-A-N shop...i don mind it if they are loud and gaming but WILL THEY JUST KEEP THEIR MOUTHS CLEAN WHEN PLAYING THE GAME?!...goodness sake...i heard them every 5 minutes interval...practically everybody in lvl 3 has the headphones on...other than those dota-ing...wth...and there's this guy who thinks he is boss of the gang...criticizing his team mates tactics every now and then...oh well..the rest can't be bothered abt him..

seriously, DO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO PLAY DOTA IN TP LIBRARY SCOLD VULGUR?please tag on my board if you don't...

2009-06-09T16:55:00.002+08:00

how much longer before i can smile again...
how much longer can i stand this emotional torment...
how much longer before i see the purpose of living...
how much longer before i break from all of this...

2009-06-07T23:35:00.002+08:00

My life feels so boring...im doing the same thing everyday again and again...there's simply nth for me to look forward to...surprisingly, im able to smile and serve during working hrs...life just seem so meaningless...im like an empty shell walking ard... life has become so meaningless that 50% of the time that im awake im living in my manga and anime world...just to pass time...i wanna roam around somewhere but its either im lazy or i don wan to go alone...and oh, i don have time for that with projects surrounding me...grrr...im glad i made new friends during work...hope i ll bump into her in sch...then ask why she haven add me!!!! haha...oh well...im leading such a stale and boring life...

2009-06-07T15:45:00.001+08:00

This is my 100th post for this blog

"Memories of us together are so beautiful and sweet that it hurts with every breath I take..."

2009-06-06T12:46:00.001+08:00

Do not leave the one you love for the one you like. For the one you like will leave you for the one he loves

2009-06-05T12:22:00.002+08:00

i wake up every morning...with the same old feeling

go to work everytime...with the same old feeling

with the same old dread...

the feeling of emptiness...

im hanging neither here nor there...

not in hell neither in the seventh heaven...

just wandering about in the borderline...

anybody want join tpjcg with me?

2009-06-01T20:08:00.003+08:00

holidays officially started for me...hehe...3 weeks of holidays but they are not gng to be easy at all...projects to chiong, LSO to be done and exams to think abt...sian...wanna quit tcc too...(i noe its random)

life is pretty boring cos my laptop die on me...cant do anything now...grrr....have to use my desktop which i dont really enjoy using...anyway...nd to start on my project soon...haiz...

"What we have once enjoyed we can never lose...All that we love deeply becomes a part of us..." - Hellen Keller

2009-05-30T13:31:00.002+08:00

feel so unstable...i can be positive one moment and damn negative the next...his words...are not wat i expected..but somewat it was comforting...=]

looking forward to shopping and staying over at min's hse tmr...

my laptop keeps dying on me...zzz...have to send it for service soon...and damn! it has to die on me at impt time like this with all my projects...grrrr

2009-05-29T11:17:00.004+08:00

today's distraction!

making pancake with min!...blueberry ones...its more like i only whisk the mixture and she fry the pancake...while i sit here and blog abt this! we wanted to tease bing rong cos he like blueberries...haha...min suggest joining trybe...k lor...give it a try...

after eating shall go home NUA on my bed...roll in it...then watch anime abit...dl anime and hopefully my hp can play it...sian...later gt work...feel a little sian abt it...dono how to go abt doing it...i gt cheered up though...^^

thx gal!

2009-05-27T19:04:00.002+08:00

went to sign my appointment letter today at swissotel...cant wait for internship to start...the new things that i ll learn and new ppl that i ll meet...it's so exciting!!!

crop up with some stuff...its not alot...but its imapct is pretty great...and it has to fall on a test period...zzz...i nd to study for my tests...i shldnt be blogging right now...

the mid sem holidays are so not like holidays...more like time for everybody to chiong project and catch up on the work...haiz...there goes my rest...*wave gd bye**sobs*

I'm still afraid of what's ahead...

2009-05-21T23:02:00.002+08:00

sidetracking a little (actually not a little, i have been slacking my way throughout the whole day with minimum work done) from my DPD field trip report...

sian ar...im like brain dead the whole day when i come into contact with my assignment...i stil have project and test to study...not mentioning work as well...haiz...not to mention my body is so not helping me at all...zzz...my next 2 weeks will be so packed...gt to increase my attention span...but on the gd side i have a pending intern position...cancelled my interview today cos the hotel doesnt really offer what i wan to learn at this pt of my life...i heard that they have rejected alot of ppl so if i go for their interview today and i gt accepted, that wld means i have a certain level of standard..i know tt's a pretty selfish reason...but anyway, i decided not to waste their time and my time (since i nd to complete dpd) i call and reject their intervew offer...tmr im gng for another one...which shld be the last one...even w/o gng for the interview i have a pretty gd idea where i ll go for my internship...oh well..just feel sian tt i HAVE WORK tmr and i ND TO GO FOR INTERVIEW at the same time plus WALKING ARD ALOT WITH MY HEELS...and MY BODY ISNT REALLY HELPING ME HERE AT ALL...mega zzz....haiz....

oh well...back to dpd....grumble grumble

2009-05-19T12:24:00.002+08:00

finally, its my turn to go interview...well, for 1 thing im happy and the other im quite nervous as well...im not very gd with expressing myself...i gt 3 interviews line up straight one aft another beginning tmr...have to cancel my work schedule on thurs too...haiz...i see money flying away...T_T but no choice leh...haiz...now i face the problem of dono which company to really aim for cos all the things i wan to do are scattered all over the 3 companies i have interview with...bar tendering for one...fine dining on another company...front desk service on another...*faint* but i really wan to learn bar tendering and do service at the same time...ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!grumble....

2009-05-09T13:13:00.003+08:00

feeling pretty lost...

i don't know what i wan to do anymore...

perhaps, i nd a change of environment...

perhaps, i nd to start looking at my own conduct and improve from there...

perhaps, i nd to do both of them...

i nd to search for my own motivation...

the video below was mine yst...and i hope it will continue to motivate me for the rest of my life...

2009-05-08T11:05:00.002+08:00

ok, fine dining is out of the question for internship...i know its very good experience and exposure and blah blah blah but NO WAY...SIMPLY NO WAY...the pressure and stress and "trauma"...no way im gng to let this down my SIP grade...haiz...time to look through the list again...

and the list goes on and on and on...

and i better make good use of this time before work to finish up my assignments...if not i will skip lecture for nth...zzz

haiz

haiz

haiz

haiz

HAIZ

2009-05-06T22:08:00.002+08:00

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

should i intern at a hotel?a cafe or a fine dining restaurant in a hotel?

AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and here comes my ever piling assignments to complete...zzz

SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT SHLD I DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and i procastinate again...haiz...

2009-05-03T15:20:00.002+08:00

here comes the nightmare of all yr 3s...

SIP!!!!!!!!

sian sia...have to get a placement by 10 july...looked through the list of companies that we can intern at...im only interested in fnb and hotels...when i saw tcc on the list i burst out laughing...lol...its like the proposed training programme is NO LONGER a training programme for me la...im thinking if i wan to ace my SIP of course i can go to tcc-similar companies and intern...higher chance that i will get the job too...BUT THEN...i think i shld just get a position in somewhere i can do wat i like and learn wat i wan to learn...

BARTENDERING!!!!!!!!!!!

my baby didnt wan me to go...but i noe whatever i do he will support me=]

haiz...now i have one million and one things to do...many decisions to make...back to planning...

2009-04-24T02:09:00.003+08:00

they are some ppl who are born to be cuter and more beautiful than others...and these kind of ppl probably get away with many things in life...cos they are "oh, he/she so cute, nvm la...forgive you..." and when it comes to others who are just avg looking, they are not so forgiving...sadly, i belong to the 2nd category which i have noticed quite a while...there's a slight biasness...and why?maybe cos im not as pleasant looking?and on top of that the way i work?i guess its human nature...to be bias...to feel jealousy...to incur wrath from others who has done nth wrg in particular..and i ponder what do these ppl gain? and wat did i gain in exchange for my loss?human relations are so complicated...

From diaries to blogs

2009-04-22T23:45:00.001+08:00

It does amaze me how the society nowadays seek for more and more creativity...one good example(in my pt of view) is tcc...everything sound so weird but surprisingly, they taste good...even the weird flavours one like spicy mango...-.-but wat im truely surprise about is how diaries can turn to blogs and from blogs to blogshop...there are flooded everywhere...EVERYWHERE...

I'm taking a break from doing my tutorial...ok, i haven started it yet just that i have been transferring my notes to the lec slides just now...this blog owner has a very short attention span...i repeat, VERY SHORT...the best i cld do is pay 1 hr full attention for a 2 hr lec...tt's if the lecture is interesting...but for gaming i think i can pay full 2hr attention to it...pity it's only 1 hr...in normal lec, 30mins is my max...

i realise i have been doing alot of unnecessary shopping...cancelled my order of accessories today...cos i have more important things to spend it on...i can just go down to the shop at The Central if i really want it...saw a nice planner at art box today...wanted to get it but didn't...im debating within myself...i can afford to get it and baby say he wan to buy for me but wat will happen to my old one?i gt a diary for writing down my thgts tt i don wan to expose on the blog but i don really use tt often since i don really have tt much cant-be-exposed thgts...and i gt a notebook which i only written my drinks SOP in it and tt's all...i even have another notebook given to me...(but im planning not to write anything in there...it's too nice to be ruined by my handwriting...)don't really want to waste mine or baby's money...but i really love the organiser! tues go there and see again ba...perhaps by then i don wan it anymore...which equals to money saved!

oh gosh!it's raining!

collecting my online item tmr...i order and made payment last mth...-.-..at least it came...now im left with my lens and my jacket =D

feel punk rock tmr...

i shall proceed back to my desk and cont with my tut...

"First day" of school

2009-04-22T01:12:00.003+08:00

I shall make this as my last activity before gng to slp...

yst (it's alrdy 22nd april looking at time tt i post this) is the first day of sch for me...only gt 2 hrs lec...had MICE..which in my opinion is totally boring...cldnt even tahan 1 hr inside...goodness...later i ll have gaming...which is what im looking forward to...the case study is another big headache...due in a mth's time...goodness...no wonder they tell us to start on it asap...now i see why...at least the project is looks simple..LOOKS ONLY...i shall be a gd kid this sem and DO MY TUTORIALS and NO MORE MIDNIGHT OIL for individual assignments...

it's getting late or early...whichever way you wan to see it...time to head for the pillows...

Just another boring day

2009-04-20T16:32:00.002+08:00

had nothing to do so went to look for a new blogskin since I didn't really fancy the previous one...

yes, as we all know, TP start sch today and we don't have tut on the first week but im still happily gaming and blogging right now as MONDAYS ARE FULL OF TUTORIALS FOR ME...so naturally, i have an additional day of holiday *grin*...i love my timetable because if i want to i can not go sch on wed, thurs and fri since they are full of lec...hehheh...but of course will go la...year 3 liao leh...must go lecture...T_T hopefully...my current timetable is also very, very and VERY good for work...haha...but of course im not really gng to work my ass off la...need to relax and rejuvenate...speaking of rejuvenating...MIN MIN DON FORGET OUT PEDICURE TRIP IN MAY AR...haha...

anyway, went shopping at bugis yst...a bit heart pain cos spend quite an amt...and kena scolding also...*sob**sob*...gt 3 shirts and a pair of shorts...wanted to get another tunic for layering...but nah...don really have the stuff to match with it...

pretty excited to go back to TP =]

2009-04-13T12:18:00.000+08:00

IM BACK FROM GENTING!!!!

haha...had a great time over there...spend RM 51 on the tickets and I sit on almost all the thrill rides till I happy...haha...ok, I'm kind of lazy to blog at the moment...shall talk abt it later or something with photos...(like finally my blog has photos...haha)okok...ciao!

2009-03-26T00:46:00.002+08:00

went out to have an early bdae celebration today...feeling very happy...went to make a teddy bear at PS...gt stainless steel earrings for my sensitive ears...bought my boots and shorts...and had dinner at nydc...the food ok la..love the dessert though...yum yum...and i love the teddy bear alot..since i made it...lol...its so fun making it...choosing the skin colour...stuffing it...then choosing the clothes for it...in the end i wan it to be simple so its just a white shirt with jump suit...then there is the birth certificate too...lol...but the sad thing is...this kind of teddy bear needs to go for laundry...zzz...im lazy to do so...think i nd to send my sheep for washing alrdy...watched the movie Detroit Metal City...damn funny la can...k la...tired le...wan go rest...really enjoyed today...thx...

It's a Cinderella story

2009-03-23T15:46:00.002+08:00

Did online shopping a few days ago...bought a top and a overall both costing me $45...and O.P.I nail lacquer...since I'm pretty lazy to go search for it in Singapore...Wednesday going to look for shorts...oh, I just remembered...

MIN MIN YOUR SHORTS STILL AT MY HOUSE....

ok, like that then she will notice...(lol)

anyway, yup, going to look for shorts on Wednesday...just a plain one will do...haha...

2009-03-23T01:31:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I wonder what am I working so hard for?

What do I want to achieve?

And when I do achieve it, what will I do next?

It's pretty tiring at times to keep having to tell myself that I need to maintain my own set of standards...

Chloe said this to me today:"如果没有必要比较，那比来有什么用？" which I find pretty true...sometimes I wish I can take a break from all the thoughts that is strangling me at times forever...

But deep down in my heart, I know that now that I have taken on this route, and create what is in front of me now, there is no stopping and no turning back for me...

For I, who has taken pride in my work, will never allow anyone to trample it...not even myself...

and it shall go on...and I know one day I will probably be broken by it if I'm not careful enough

2009-03-18T15:53:00.000+08:00

after reading Cherry Juice from onemanga, I decided that....

I DON WANT TO GET INTO A RELATIONSHIP AGAIN

period...

ok, end of story...back to leveling

2009-03-14T03:10:00.002+08:00

MY DARLING LAPTOP IS BACK!!!!

I was so tired today aft work that i wanted to just plop on the bed and slp right away...it even took me 5sec to realise my laptop is back...and im totally wide awake now=]

gd thing im working closing tmr...means i can chiong on trickster now...heheh...

my keyboard feel so new...(like duh...wat am i talking abt...)

anyway...some little updates:

holidays are pretty much the same...work, slp, game, anime, manga...i will rot sooner and later with a life like this...

went for suntanning with min a few weeks ago and i finally understand why she love this life so much...bt without tt glaring sun...

looking forward to rollerblading session on sunday, my bdae and of course my PAYDAY...been eyeing 2 new pieces of clothes...(of course i tell myself those 2 pieces and tt's tt until the next pay comes)

realise i nd to add more colours and variety of clothes to my wardrobe which leads to the point above...

results are out and ya...i have no idea why i did better than last sem bt my gpa drops instead...sucks...

economic crisis is not a very good thing at the moment...oh well...

I shall go and indulge in my trickster world=]

2009-03-02T01:42:00.001+08:00

Feeling lost...
I don't feel talking about it neither do I feel like seeking my cards...
My thoughts and my heart has disappoint me...

2009-02-26T00:41:00.001+08:00

我到底在期待些什么？

The heart feels empty...

2009-02-23T00:36:00.002+08:00

today is like total slacking day for me...wake up play trickster then started doing on 1 qn then gt distracted again...sian...in the end jus gave up and leave the papers for tmr...and then it shall be back to leveling my dragon...feel quite guilty for doing so...haha...past 2 days been studying with min...it's much more productive than i thgt...surprisingly...haha...

MIN AR...TMR COME EARLIER LA...then i can get started...then we shall slp early too...for once...haha...

2009-02-19T23:03:00.000+08:00

exams are like ROUND the corner...and my attention span is not sensing the urgency of it...roar...so not productive these few days...waliao...can't wait for exams to be over...like seriously O-V-E-R...zzz...this is what i have done for today:

1. half the day gone in bed
2. mind map for crs
3. meet gordon and look for hamster
4. complete lec 7 and 8 of crs
5. finish mind map for lec 9 and 10

and tt's pretty much where my brain refuse to get anything in after that...

ROAR

2009-02-13T21:43:00.002+08:00

damn ttb test...spoil my friday...haiz...fell on the pavement while rushing to get into a cab today...*ouch ouch*...lucky its not a very deep cut...haiz...really need to go study after i post this...haiz...don feel like studying...but what choice do i have? 3=/ dreading work tmr...argh!!!!

sometimes things are best left unsaid...but sometimes when you do that, you will end up at the losing end...without people knowing your agony...and the one who caused all these to you will just keep doing the same thing over and over again...when all these unvoiced emotions pelt up, would you choose to let it out? or will you choose to continue keeping it in slience, for the sake of the majority? and when it is vent out, the damage will be done...no amount of work can repair it...the only one who can undo it will be the very one who causes it...

没有合照，只有名字的思念。。。
期待它开花结果。。。
希望它不会让我失望。。。

2009-02-09T22:35:00.000+08:00

sometimes i think that the most dangerous thing on earth is the human heart...today he can be your friend, but the next day he can be your worst enemy...that's pretty scary when you think of it...I think one will suspect another when there isn't enough trust in each other...or misunderstandings were not dealed with properly enough...It can also be due to jealousy arising...

oh well...just wanna make some comment after seeing my friend's blog...I would think that the person will be pretty brave if he/she states his/her name on the tagboard...cos everybody who does that on ppl's tagboard usually use fake names...but then again, that person can use other ppl's name...lol...ok, now i think it will be brave of tt person if he/she confront her and say all those stuff instead...haha...oh wells...childish i would say...

exams are ard the corner...omg...tmr shall start on ttb and hopefully a little acct and crs while im at it..ok, im doing the impossible for my daily routine...i can nvr study all 3 in the same day...can is can...but im not discipline enough...haha...i shall alternate then...

fell sick and i dono how...but i dislike ppl who take their illness as an excuse or keep whining abt it...when it is something as minor as cold...not like you are suffering from cancer...my body feels pretty no energy and my med is working...gonna slp now...nites everyone...

met a cute guy today=]

2009-02-05T22:17:00.000+08:00

Have been wanting to blog for AGES but its either I odn't have the time or I fell asleep before I can type the URL...Semester pass pretty fast and soon I will be in Year 3 which a DAMN SAD thing...haiz...ok, let's not talk about graduating now...leave it for another day...I'm so going to join GLs and help out in whatever stuff I can for SU in Yr 3...want my last year to end with a blast and when I look back, I want it to be fulfilling and meaningful...ok, MOVING ON...

I'm looking for a place, where I will feel belonged...and I hope I will find it in SU...I was too involved in work and my other friends that I forget about lounge and SU...I'm glad that I went back tp for open house...it let me find back the reason why I used to look forward to school everyday in Yr 1...and it also let me have a little sad reminisce of past and present times...For the first time, I actually look forward to school...For the first time, I get into a serious relationship (which, sadly, ended on a sad note) and it's all due to SU...

I wanna get my life right and fall in love again...(of course not with just anyone on the street...)

2009-01-30T06:20:00.002+08:00

well, since i have some time before showering and getting ready for sch...i shall blog!!!haha...just finished my FEM reflection paper...cant rmb which assignment it was that i stay up the whole night to do it...i think is CSIT field trip report...later still gt work lor...6-2...yup...2am...gng to be so bored over there la...zzz...feel like sugarloaf-ing later...haha...bt i stil cant decide to go home aft sch or to go tp then go work...aiyo...hope i don have eyebags today...haha...this sem is like so hectic for me...assignments, projects and tests come after one another with simply no time to rest! i await my well deserve holidays man...but before that i have to face the horror of ttb test...25%...(im so DEAD for tt test) and then CRS paper...omg...nt forgetting acct too...fail my mid sem for acct...by 2 marks...sian...oh well...my sis FINALLY come out of the bathroom...time for me to shower...ciao!

2009-01-28T22:08:00.000+08:00

finally i can have a break for CNY...slept like a pig at my aunt's hse in m'sia...painted my toes and perm my eyelashes...lol...love my eyes and toes now..=]nth much for CNY just the usual stuff...after that come back is culi...and i noe i gt to start on my FEM reflection paper soon...hopefully today...after my manga session...haha...brought the flu virus back with me cos my aunt's place is very cold at night and i have to slp w/o a blanket...and dono who go on the fan on max speed...zzz...sian...so now i have a very husky voice and a block nose...haiz...feel that i can get sick any moment...*faint*oh, i need to do peer appraisal too...waliao...so many things to do...im so not into the do work kind of mood yet...

(I used to have such long posts but now they are all so short..omg)

2009-01-22T15:53:00.003+08:00

i wanna blog for like so many days ago...but projects, test and sleep is denying me of that...haiz...in school right now doing project...oh well, shall blog abt it soon...SOON...i promise...

2009-01-16T12:08:00.000+08:00

There is like no lesson today?woohoo!!!haha...hope my contacts come soon...my current one cant tahan any longer...

For this certain period of time, im like pms everyday...throw tantrum and get angry easily and stuff...command ppl and basically, become very bossy...i feel guilty for doing that...even now wen i do that to my grp mates at times...it's like i totally lost myself...stuff that i'm ok with becomes not ok with me...my mood swings every 5 mins? and it last for quite a while like 2-3 mths?i cant believe how much i have changed...right now, im trying to find my old self back...bit by bit...someone who is not so grouchy...someone who is less stubborn, more understanding and ya...i wan to be someone who is able to be there for everyone tt is impt in her life...i need to open up more and socialize more...hmmm...LOUNGE IM COMING WAIT FOR ME!!!!!

sidetrack a little...

lol...shawn has been telling me that too...but sometimes i feel quite shy to just go up to ppl and say hi...esp when they are in their clique...will feel quite left out...haha...anw...

back to topic

as i was saying...i think i became like this because i was too into being the best at work and i wanna give every customer that comes in the fastest and the best service i can give...true is the fact that i cannot handle all the customers alone so naturally there will be others who will attend to some of the customers...and not all of us work the same way...i wan to give my best to the customers but the rest may just wan to provide the minimum that was taught in the handbook and tt's tt...sometimes gt pretty irritated at that and tt's where all the above mentioned stuff comes in...i was so into competing with someone that i forget abt wat makes me stay at T3D for so long...i'm not so into abt being the best now but tt doesn't mean im gng to slack at work...(though sometimes i do..haha...hey, there is no consistency in service ok...IntHT teach de...lol)

i wanna enjoy life...i can chiong for work when i graduate....for many many years down the road...im only left with like barely more than a yr to enjoy with my friends...to enjoy SU, to enjoy mass dance, to enjoy OTC/FO...haiz, all these are making me sad...haha...true that i ll still have friends at work bt its all different kind of fun...haha...yup, tt's wat i wan to do now...enjoy life, socialize, hopefully fall in love again...(not as in a serious r/s but perhaps like a crush kind of thing?dono hw to explain on blog)

2009-01-16T00:21:00.000+08:00

im supposed to be doing my work now...nt blogging...oh well...hopefully, i wont fall aslp like yst...i need to do ttb and crs marketing plus swot...crap...ahhhhh...projects are spoiling my night...oh well, i should blame myself for procastinating and stuff...cny shopping tis sunday and im looking forward to it=]haha...ok, i should be getting on with my projects...ciao

Stop getting so full of yourself...
You've lost completely to her...
Don't get so carried away...that you end up falling harder than you think you will...
I laughed and cried at my own idiocy...

2009-01-12T00:06:00.001+08:00

had alot of laughs today at lounge...they reallllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy make me wan to chiong back to lounge everyday...haha...bt tt's not very possible...ahhhhhhhhhhh...can they bring the lounge over to TAS?haha...manage to eat mensa lasagne today...wished sabby was there with me so i can share with her...abit dry though bt still as gd as ever...had a karaoke session with grace and a few who i know by dono hw to spell the name...oops...ps ps...sing so loudly and so off that instead of making music, we are making noise...lol...after watching some pool decided to go home...gt half a mind to pon lect tmr and go for acct tut only...ok, actually, i've alrdy decided tt...haha...perhaps go my beloved lounge again to do my work too...haha...

Being hurt and hurting someone...
This cycle of karma...
When will it stop for me?

2009-01-11T02:02:00.002+08:00

TP Open House is LOVE man...haha...they (new subcomm) make me feel so back to SU again...haha...made alot of new friends...meet alot of ppl...did ALOT of cheering and mass dance...until i lost my voice...haha...dono hw to work tmr sia...lunch-ing with shawn on mon...hopefully...if i gt work then jiu cannot liao...haha...gt a few blue blacks here and there...think is all from mass dance...keep bumping around...haha...jam and hop quite sian...cos have to stand there cannot dance...and it's like taking forever to end...i so don wan to go back sentosa la...haiz...and one reminder for mass dance...if you are wearing any accessories, esp ring, pls take them out...else it will hurt the other party...my hand become like tt...all thx to shawn low...haha...anw, im so back to loving SU again...haha...

2009-01-06T02:12:00.002+08:00

slightly late but ya, my new year resolutions

1. save more money and spend less

2. do better in work and studies

3. expand my social circle

4. be more focused and discipline

5. grow up

tt's pretty much the 5 things i wanna achieve this year...haha..

2009-01-01T00:00:00.000+08:00

haha...i forget abt this bt ya...

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!

2008-12-31T23:08:00.000+08:00

ok, dear Ms Vivian Ma...

YOU ARE SO SCREWED FOR CSIT RESEARCH PAPER

you noe i hate it everytime where i think about bits and pieces of wat i wan to post on my blog today and wen i actually wan to blog it, they all seem to be gone...grrr....haha...anw, im pretty screwed for csit...just think tt i am...stupid research paper...haiz...tmr stil gt work...did i mention i have to hand this up on fri?like THIS FRIDAY 2 JAN...9am somemore...after tt gt to chiong FEM again...then TTB and then CRS...oh well, its always this time tt we stay up way into the wee hours of the night to chiong stuff...le tme finish all the easy parts today...then i gt less things to do tmr...haiz...i feel like instead of writing a report, im answering my own essay qn...lol...

and i forget wat else i wanna blog abt...hmmm

i wanna get a book to read...yakuza moon...and a new bag...and oh, new year resolutions...tt shall be my next post...

and....

GO DO YOUR CSIT LIAO LA VIVIAN!!!!!!!

2008-12-27T19:12:00.002+08:00

nt working today and tmr...sch starting soon again...so sian...don feel like gng back sch...just wan to play the whole day and slack...haiz...nd to get organized soon...im supposed to study for today la..bt slack the whole day again...later at night then study ba...at least i gt all the notes sorted out...i nd to study for test, get my crs report done and csit research paper done...looks little bt they take up pretty much time...haiz...why cant they extend our holi till 2 jan?weird thinking our moe or sch has...bought a book yst..The Tales of Beedle the Bard"...its by J.K.Rowling...its all the fairy tales of the witches and wizards world...haha...its a pretty interesting book...the next book i wanna get is Yakuza Moon...bt its 35 bucks...next pay ba...maybe...

2008-12-24T02:30:00.000+08:00

think my life is pretty screwed and no motivation at all...no motivation to work...no motivation to do anything...

i admire and respect his position at work...can do bar can do service...both also do till a almost perfect job...make customers happy and stuff...keep having regular customers coming back...bt wat the hell can i do?nth...take wrg orders, make customers angry, cant even learn bar much less a pay rise like him... feedback letters nt even a quarter of his...regular customers coming back just for me and speed...don even talk abt them...im so worthless compared to him...if the company wanna cut down on labour cost bet i ll be on the list far earlier than he will be...im so useless and so nt motivated at all...so nt...

and i wonder...why cant my love life be simpler?when i see couples ard, it often left a hole in my heart...and remind me of him...why cant things be simple btwn the both of us?is it because we try to analyze things too much?or because we cant give wat each other wants?bt at the end of the day, do we still love each other as much?perhaps there are stil many more painstaking truths which we do not wan to face...

2008-12-22T00:25:00.002+08:00

my day was wonderful until just now...

freaking irritated by the project...still cant find the info i wan..the book also doesnt really have wat i wan...idiot...grrrr...stil gt x'mas present haven do...lucky not alot...bt still...ahhhhh...why is it that i can find all the required facilities of a 5 star hotel bt i cant find it for a resort?nvm...i go try again...

went out with min and sabby today...woke up late so reach min's hse late also...she help me put make up and off we go to marina sq to meet sabby...today is dress up day...sabby and i wore those cute little princess kind of dress which we prolly wont wear it anytime sooner again...haha...chill at starbucks and had MOF for dinner...saw cute little stuff at cactus and newbie...doug join us after our dinner...then shop ard somemore after that bought little x'mas stuff to make them into presents for my friends...its all thx to min's idea...haha...really had fun today=]

basket, stil cant find my info...grrrr....

2008-12-20T14:40:00.000+08:00

haiz...im supposed to be doing my report right now...aiyo...feel so sian...gt one bug bite on my leg...at first thgt is mosquito bite bt as days goes by i realise it's not...quite swollen and red...when pressed it hurts a little...then gt pus come out too...bt a little bit only la...oh shit...jus rmb sunday gng out with min and sabby and i have to wear tt dress...bt my leg and knee freaking gt scratch...cos i fall down...haha...the one on my thigh i shld be able to cover bt the ones on my knees and arm jiu....and the stupid bug bite...zzz...aiyo...forget it...just don care abt those wounds...bt seriously...it's very itchy...bugging me the whole time...aiyo...i slack slack slack till i also forget wat i wan to blog abt liao...anyway...im supposed to do my report and i gt work later...so wen i come home pray hard i don fall aslp so i can complete it...cos tmr no time as im gng out with min and sab and mon is the project meeting alrdy...ok, tt's a pretty long sentence...anyw...ciao

2008-12-14T16:02:00.003+08:00

im supposed to be doing my project now...haiz...sian...cant seem to get into the mood of doing it...i nd to complete my ttb and type out my part of the report for crs...T_T...i wanna slack...tmr gt meeting...10am...so gt to slp early..if nt late again...holidays are pretty much the same...just tt i get to slack more...1st day of sch reopen jiu culi liao...haiz...chef joyce~~~~haha...lol...feel pretty bu fu qi why i still cant properly learn bar...my timing now all give anytime de lor...i can do morning shift de lor...nvm...mayb cos we have 2 other barista training at the moment...if i stil cant get training by the next break..then i most prolly ll go join harry's bar...think the experience will be quite cool...though i heard that the pay is only $6/hr...bt nvm...nt much diff...anw, i wanna do pendicure...anyone willing to sponsor me?lol

2008-12-10T22:33:00.003+08:00

went back to bugis today with sabby and my sis...sabby went to get her shoes for her dress and a vest...my sis gt a vest too...i gt a pair of wedges for my dress...sabby paid for it first...of course im returning her back her money...went to eat crystal jade la mian xiao long bao...damn filling...i eat till my mouth cannot tahan the spicyness of that dish...last few mouth i have to wash away the chilli b4 i can eat...bt its really nice...very nice...haha...gt chance will eat it again...$7.80 for 1 bowl of la mian...its damn worth it la...next time bring my parents there...then i can try all the side dishes i want...haha...oh ya, the bloody acer service center so inefficient lor...waited from like 1230 or 1330 to ard 1530 like tt...waliao...damn long...still put lunch break at the wrg time...dotz...tonight gt to slp early...tmr gt project meeting at 10...haiz...

I miss you...do you?